Let it go and Let God!
Hi Ya’ll! I am so grateful to be here with y’all today! I want to take a second and make my intentions clear now; My story is my story and what I went through and still go through in life, though similar to others, my story doesn’t belong to anyone else, we all have our own. What I am doing is merely putting my hearts lifetime of grief in God’s hands letting Him do what only He can do with it. I do not plan to hurt anyone, offend or insult, shame or embarrass anyone. If I do, I am truly sorry in advance, it’s honestly not what this is about.
It’s about taking all of MY shattered pieces and giving them to God so He can build a strong foundation in someone else’s shattered pieces and give them a strong foundation for someone else and etc., etc.
We each have our own unique testimony that relates to others, we can continue to keep it all bottled up or we can adhere to the history of the Bible and tell others how we are able to stand here today and give Him all the glory for carrying us through the pain. That is how we can find hope in the faded faith that only broken circumstances can build back stronger and stronger with each broken piece.
Brokenness was never the plan to leave my kids to inherit and yet I passed that down anyways. It was all I had, because it was all I ever knew. I was a broken 17 yr old when I got pregnant for the first time. I had no idea what to do with my brokenness except be my own demise.
Just to be clear, my baby was not part of my brokenness. He was a light in my darkness that I did not know how to keep lit and yet God knew what I failed to see; I needed my son and he needed me.
I couldn’t see it then, but I do see it now. I see how God stepped up and showed out His love for me when I struggled with feeling it in ways I thought was satisfying. Drugs, alcohol, lusting over things and people.
I was always running further and further away so I could forget what seemed to always follow me. Negativity. Harsh words spoken to me too often that took place played over and over in my head like a broken record when there is no one home to stop it. Eventually it had me believing what was always said; yet, deep within me somewhere I knew it couldn’t be true. I had to find a way to let it go and let God!
God blessed me 30 yrs. ago today with a precious baby boy. His timing may not have been perfect for others; it was perfect for my heart and God knew.
A child was the best way God knew to gift me to understand how he loves us. His love is infinite, it’s gracious, it’s forgiving, it’s selfless, it’s sacrificing, it’s sweet and it feels amazing and I had to learn how to give all that very love and pass it down to a tiny human. I did not do that gracefully.
I may not be so gracious with myself in forgiving my part of breaking several pieces of my own heart myself. I am, however, gracious and forgiving to everyone else who took part in my broken pieces.
Grace is free when we set ourselves aside and let God pick up our heaviest pieces and bind them together to form an even more beautiful masterpiece. Once it’s broken, it never pieces back the same; it’s greater than we could ever imagine though.
